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Tanked Episode 318 for Tues Mar 17, 2015


Scottish Brewery Releases 'Performance Enhancing' Ale

Scottish Brewery Releases 'Performance Enhancing' Ale

In light of the recent 50 Shades of Grey movie release, Scottish brewery, Innis & Gunn, has released a beer brewed with 50 different kinds of hops. Innis & Gunn claim that 50 Shades of Green will “arouse tastebuds and raise temperatures in households across the country.” As if the huge hop variety wasn’t enticing enough, Innis & Gunn added a trifecta of natural stimulants including ginseng, to boost sexual desire, ginkgo biloba, to increase blood flow and damiana, a nerve stimulant.

The description reads, “Frisky citrus overtones, a full body and long, lingering finish all collude to get you hot under the collar.” Although the website also claims that drinking this ale does not guarantee a strike from Cupid’s arrow, it does sound pretty tasty.

The golden ale has been brewed in super limited quantities, with only 200 bottles released. It sells for £30 for a 330ml bottle, or about $46 for a 10oz bottle. Sadly, the beer is as rare as true love and is only available in the UK.

Photo via Innis & Gunn



Creep Out All Your Friends with a Fake Baby Filled with Booze



While The Cool Baby—a fake, hollowed out baby with a straw coming out of its head.

And while the Kickstarter for this humanoid sippy cup says “drinking in public is now adorable,” it will be anything but. The baby, which is probably the first product to use the phrase “drink-insulating torso,” holds a 36-ounce beverage container inside its hollowed-out body for your drinking enjoyment.


Other than being a great way to creep people out and avoid pesky conversations with the opposite sex, there doesn’t seem to be much benefit to the Cool Baby. It offers a hands-free drinking experience, but what does that accomplish? Anything worth doing while drinking—whether it’s cooking, hanging out, tailgating or playing a game—we’ve figured out how to do it with one hand while we hold a beer. And there is no way you’re sneaking this thing into a sporting event—any security personnel would have to be drunk themselves to not see how exceedingly fake this baby looks.

If you’d like the nightmares without having to pay for the fake baby, watch the video below of the product’s Kickstarter, which features a grown man nearly constantly suckling on a baby’s head. That should go over great—everyone will want to head to your tailgate to see a group of adults slurping from a baby doll’s skull.



VIDEO (chap 2-5 is good





pledged of $70,000 goal



Updated: on powdered Alcohol


Last April we told guys the news that Palcohol, the makers of powdered alcohol, won approval from the government to sell its product in the United States.


The Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau claimed they granted approval in error and almost immediately retracted it. Per the AP, the issue at hand was a matter of labeling, tiny technical bullshit that entire U.S. regulatory system is built upon.


Well, Palcohol fixed that problem, and now you can sprinkle booze into water and now you’re never more than a water fountain away from having a cocktail at your hands.


Palcohol founder Mark Phillips expects it to be ready for sale come this summer.

According to Motherboard, a few states (Alaska, Delaware, Louisiana, Michigan, South Carolina, and Vermont) have banned it, because those states are bitches. One of the worries, from these bitch states, is that it will be easy to sneak into venues where alcohol sales are restricted.


Phillips said on his blog, that nah, he’s not worried about that. “A package of Palcohol is 4″ x 6,” he wrote “almost five times bigger than a 50ml bottle of liquid alcohol so Palcohol is much harder to conceal.”


But that’s not true! It’s flat. It can go in your shoes and no one will notice! And they don’t make you take off your shoes before sporting events.

Until they do after we all abuse this.... Gonna be great, Let’s get drunk.


Old School Netflix but for Classic Consoles


How would you like classic video games delivered to your door? Imagine like a retro game fairy, stuffing Legend of Zelda cartridges under your pillow at night. My Retro Game Box is that, but, no lost teeth.


My Retro Game Box is a monthly subscription service –  every month you’ll get a random (but carefully chosen) selection of games for retro consoles.You’ll get to keep them forever, we’re not a rental service.

The boxes you receive are curated by an obsessive retro games collector, so you won’t be shortchanged.

Once you subscribe we’ll be in touch to ask you about your current collection and what your preferences are, so we can get your subscription just right. If you say no sports games, you’ll never receive a sports game.


They offer the service for almost every classic gaming console, including Nintendo Entertainment System, Super Nintendo Entertainment System, Nintendo 64, Game Boy, Game Boy Color, Game Boy Advance, Sega Mastersystem, Sega Megadrive and Sega Genesis.



Tron 3 to begin filming in the fall


A Vancouver blog called VanCity Buzz has announced that Disney will start production of TRON 3 there this fall. Prob relase date of summer 2016?


Garret Hedlund is set to return, as are Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxleitner. I’m not sure about the status of Olivia Wilde, but I can’t see her passing it up


Mallrats 2 in 2016!

Kevin Smith let out a tweet last week with a tagline at the end reading “I smell a rat.” Oh which kevin smith fans on twitter instantly lost their collective minds. What did that tweet mean? kevin Smith saturday night oh Hollywood Babble On confirmed that yes after he wraps up a couple other projects, Yogahosers, Clerks 3, moose Jaws (Jaws with a moose) and Hit Someone his hockey mini series he has been talking about for years. He will in fact give us a 2nd go around with Brody and TS in a mall. Humm 20 + years later they can’t still be mallrats? Can they?


The incredibles 2


Also in 2016 we will see what the superhero family from Pixar has going. 12 years after the 1st Incredibles we finally will be getting a sequel.

Follow Ric on


Ric’s YouTube page



Gummy Funny

You know that one friend you love to hate on? He takes himself a little too seriously so you give him wet willy’s from the backseat when he’s driving and you tried to finger his sister last summer. The dude who never brings beer to your parties but will pick you up at the bar when you’re too blackout to navigate your way home. Well I do I have the perfect birthday gift for you to give to your frenemy!


The gummy dick phenomenon started when Imgur user ‘budwick’ uploaded the below photos:

Aww, a package! Could it be that new book you ordered off Amazon? Mittens from Gramma? Your chlamydia prescription?


Nope. It’s 100 packages within one package. That’s some Russian doll, Inception shit.

Screen Shot 2015-03-17 at 6.35.27 PM



Budwick said that he was “Offended, but delighted. The worst part is, they’re delicious”.

In between eating dicks, he noticed a website at the bottom of the paper: The cost of the dick package is $15. Pocket change.

Screen Shot 2015-03-17 at 6.35.41 PM



So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to order some gummy dicks for everyone in my contact list. Even you Grandma. Especially you Grandma. Grandpa’s been gone for years.



St.Pattys Day Sledding With Ferris States Finest


Guy caught on camera leaving a present in a parking garage






He wanted a Budweiser and got a Busch instead.


Beer drinkers are fiercely loyal to their brands of choice, as evidenced by this story out of New Orleans: "An argument between years-long friends over which beer is better —Budweiser or Busch — ended Saturday in Harvey with a shotgun blast," says

64-year-old Clarence Sturdivant and his 66-year-old neighbor Walter Merrick were reportedly hanging out in the parking lot of their apartment complex when Sturdivant asked Merrick for a beer, and that's when things went awry:

Merrick returned with a can of Busch beer -— apparently not Sturdivant's brew of choice. An angry Sturdivant declared his preference for Budweiser, according to the report. The two men continued to quarrel over beer brands until Merrick said Sturdivant shot him and left, the incident report said.

Sturdivant's account of the incident is a bit different, saying that Merrick was actually the first person to pull a gun and he simply fired in self-defense. In the end, Sturdivant went to jail on "unrelated charges" and Merrick was issued a citation for aggravated assault.

Spray paint is never the Answer

A suspected car thief allegedly used spray paint on his face in an effort to hide from officers, the City of Madera Police Department said Sunday.

Jose Espinoza, 23, initially fled from law enforcement personnel after being caught with a stolen vehicle on Saturday night, according to a post on the Police Department’s Facebook page.

He later ran a second time, but this time police authorities said he had spray-painted his face black to camouflage himself.

“The camouflage was ineffective,” police stated in the post.

Officers arrested Espinoza and booked him into jail on charges of receiving known stolen property, and theft and unlawful taking or driving of a vehicle, Madera County inmate records showed.

His bail had been set at $35,000, according to the jail records.