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Tanked Episode 295 for Tues Apr. 15, 2014



Starbucks wants to get you drunk


So pretty soon you’re going to be able to get tipsy at Starbucks, no flask necessary. The coffee chain announced that it will begin serving beer and wine along with upscale bites like bacon-wrapped dates during the evening at thousands of locations, according to Bloomberg. The chain currently sells booze at 40 stores. It expects the rollout to take several years.


Apparently they’ve been testing this in about 40 stores over several years and have seen an upswing in sales during evening hours. no shit.


In the end, though, this move seems to be mostly about luring customers at night. In 2010, when Starbucks first began experimenting with alcohol sales at a Seattle location, USA Today reported that the company’s coffee shops made more than 70 percent of their sales before 2 p.m. Even if a store closes around 5, that’s lots and lots of dead time for real estate. Starbucks makes its money selling one addictive beverage. If it’s going to fill those hours, it might as well branch out to another.





Amazon Prime, Err, I mean Phone

Stop us if you've heard this one before: Amazon's getting ready to launch a phone. This is actually one of the longest-running rumors we've heard, with the first reports stretching back to 2012. So what's different this time? According to the Wall Street Journal, the company is already showing off prototypes of the handset to developers and is gunning to announce the device by the end of June with a September release. The report tells us that Amazon wants to differentiate itself from other top-of-the-line flagships by adding four cameras with retina-tracking tech, making it possible to project 3D images without needing glasses.

Rumors of a "Kindle phone" (or multiple phones) have been floating around the internet for ages, and this isn't even the first time we've heard that Amazon was working on a 3D-type display -- the Journal began reporting last May that the project would enable visuals that "seem to float above the screen like a hologram." Given how much smoke we've seen, there's quite likely fire. We wouldn't be surprised to see some news come out around the same time as Google's I/O developer conference, but we're more curious to find out exactly what Amazon plans to do with this retina-tracking tech and how developers will be able to take advantage of it.


The company did not offer an official statement, but Amazon has already been showing early versions of the phone to suppliers in Seattle and San Francisco.

A formal announcement is expected in June, and phones should be shipping by September. Suppliers say the company plans an initial order of 600,000 phones, according to the Journal's sources.



-Rumors also peg HTC to manufacture the hardware. Nice. So think HTC one size phone with a Android/Kindle OS


Scott’s 2cents: The only way this phone will survive the cut throat phone market is to offer it at a dirt cheep price point. kinda like how the kindle is. Zippy specs and parts. Take a hit on the hardware side and make it up in software and media.



Goat Simulator is now a reality

Last month, Coffee Stain Studios, makers of Sanctum and Sanctum 2, shared a short alpha gameplay video of an experiment they called Goat Simulator. Quite frankly, it was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. The Internet agreed and demanded that it be turned into a real game. We can be thankful that developers tend to listen to the Internet on matters of importance.

Coffee Stain Studios announced today that Goat Simulator will be coming to Steam soon for the super low price of $10. They’re also opening pre-orders via the game’s Web site for early buyers to get three days of exclusive access before it launches on Steam.

If you’re just joining us, you may be a little confused as to what Goat Simulator is. Here’s the official synopsis from the developers:

Goat Simulator is like an old school skating game, except instead of being a skater, you’re a goat, and instead of doing tricks, you wreck stuff. It brings next-gen goat simulation to YOU. WASD to write history.




X-men Clip from MTV movie awards.

New Trailer is up! It’s awesome!!!!!


We see Ice-man turn into full ice and use the ice trail. We see fire-fly in full fire mode. It makes me wanna see the movie so much more!


Mystique solo?


Rumor are that J-law will be doing Mystique in a solo project. Make sence to me. Have the biggest female actress on the planet in an already cemented roll extend her character past the X-men movies. You know the Studio wants to maxamize her current success!


Woddy Harrison saved J-laws life on the set of the new hunger games! She was choking and he was able to give her the hymlick and save her life!


Follow Ric on


Ric’s YouTube page



Cock In Your Eye


Bad news if you like shitty hot sauce: On Wednesday, the Irwindale City Council declared the factory that produces Sriracha a public nuisance. The factory now has 90 days to find a way to stop the odor, which residents say burns their eyes and throats, causing heartburn, nose bleeds, and inflamed asthma.

The council voted unanimously against Huy Fong Foods, Sriracha's parent company, despite testimony from officials at the South Coast Air Quality Management District, who said progress was being made at the factory. John Tate, an attorney for Huy Fong Foods also assured the council that he would present a proposal to mitigate the odor by June 1 within 10 days.


Jelly Bean Milk?



It’s not just chocolate bunnies and colorful eggs filling grocery store aisles for Easter.

Behold Jellybean Milk, a new seasonal, specially flavored milk that looks a little bit like Pepto Bismol.

The bright pink milk is made by Illinois-based Prairie Farms Dairy –thankfully just for Easter.

"It hasn't appealed to everyone, but we knew that it wouldn't," Rebecca Leinenbach, sales program director for Prairie Farms told The Riverfront Times. "We're just trying to have something for everyone. It's been more popular with children."

Jellybean Milk is described as low-fat milk "delicately sweetened with a sugar/monk fruit juice combination and bursting with fruity jellybean flavor," and is 150 calories per 8-ounce serving, according to a release.

If you’re not into jellybeans, the dairy also has "Easter Egg Nog" and "Chocolate Marshmallow Milk” flavors.



4 Blood moons! What the fuck does it all mean!?

We are going to let the guys over at newsy take this one because i’m too lazy to re-write it for this article. check it out.



Vote Bob Quast for Senate Bitch!

i like this guy!


Long shot Iowa Senate hopeful Bob Quast is out with an amusing new ad in which he champions the Second Amendment and takes jabs at likely Democratic nominee Rep. Bruce Braley and current Republican frontrunner state Sen. Jodi Ernst. oh and threatens to “blow [somebody's] balls off”.




Read more:


Batman can’t seem to stop thinking about sex






Norwegian Fisherman Finds Dildo Inside a Cod

Norwegian fisherman Bjørn Frilund, 64, was plying his trade in the waters of Western Norway when he came across a large cod that contained something that... cods generally do not. A dildo, specifically (via Gawker).


Frilund theorizes that the orange dildo somewhat resembles a breed of octopus that cod snack on, but can only guess as to how the dildo wound up in the water. "There may be a frustrated wife who threw the dildo overboard from the ship," he said, but added, "All sorts of stories are equally likely."


Haha. Glad this one will likely remain a delightful mystery forever.


Article submitted by Wendy From Windy


US Airways apologizes after tweeting pornographic photo

US Airways is apologizing for a tweet that went out to its followers Monday.

It started when a customer tweeted directly to US Airways complaining about her delayed flight.

The airline replied with a tweet that read: "please provide feedback to our customer relations team here," and attached a link to a picture of a nude woman engaging in a sex act with a Boeing 777.

The picture was on twitter for 22 minutes before it was deleted.

US Airways said the picture was initially sent to them on Twitter and a US Airways employee tried to flag it as inappropriate, but ended up tweeting it out to their Twitter followers.


Article submitted by Wendy From Windy


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