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Tanked Episode 291 for Mar. 18, 2014



- Beer/Mixed Drinks

- Weekend Catchup

- Bought lots of new brewing shit.

- We will be having Hot Dog Stacy on next week or the week after. Hot dog eating challenge???

- Lady Ga Ga gets thrown up on at SXSW by “Vomit Artist” Yum!  YouTube


Booze Poons

People are always trying to invent new ways to smuggle booze into a venue or concert, From the Wine Rack to the Beer Belly.  


A new product lets girls sneak alcohol into venues and events with the clever use of flasks hidden in tampon wrappers.

Sold by Urban Outfitters, Tampon Booze Tubes are tiny plastic test tubes that come in yellow and green wrappers, making them look exactly like name brand tampons.

According to the website, the tubes, which cost $14 for a pack of five, are ideal for smuggling 'because, honestly? Nobody's gonna question tampon right?


According to the reviews, these effectively serve their purpose - although at 7.25 inches, they're slightly longer than the 'real deal', a detail that likely wouldn't be noticed by most bouncers and security guards.


Tampon Booze Tubes are merely the latest in products that make alcohol smuggling easier. *bloody mary anyone?


The Only Other Thing Worth a Damn to Cum Out of SXSW (besides people getting hit by cars)


There’s a New Site That’ll Let You Track How Many Times You Hit It Doggie in 2014


Or missionary, if you are a loser. Loser.

The website is Nipple and it made its debut at South by Southwest (albeit with an extremely ill-advised ad). It’s here to help you keep track of all the screwing, mouth fucking and titty sucking you do, because who has time for a mental catalog of hookups in the go-go 90s of today.

With the app, you can record your partner’s name and whether she likes having a finger in her butt while you go at it, because how embarrassing is it to meet up with a girl for the second time and be like “I can’t remember, are you the girl I hooked up with who likes the finger in her butt? Because if not, I probably should get out of here,  because I’m all about that and I only met up with you because I thought you were the one who liked the finger in her butt.”

That will never happen again with Nipple.

You can also tag your positions, to let yourself know if you are spending too much time with reverse cowgirl when you should be hitting it standing up doggy-style (the best position, obvi)


*Give Live Demo*

oh yeah i made a Tanked crew account so we can keep track of all the fine trim we are racking up!



Decent Releases this week


Fortunately, with Titanfall a multiplayer-only affair and Dark Souls II torturing people with its difficulty, those games should command plenty of attention for some time to come. And this week, PS4 owners finally get a noteworthy exclusive of their own, so they can join in the fun too.


Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes (PS4, Xbox One, PS3, Xbox 360) – March 18

Is it possible for a Metal Gear Solid game to get lost in the shuffle? You wouldn’t think so, but Ground Zeroes feels like it could be. Maybe it was the initial confusion over exactly what this game would be. As it turns out, it’s the first part of the two-game Metal Gear Solid V experience, intended to ease players into the idea of more open world play than they’re used to from this series.

With reports coming in that the game is pretty short, Hideo Kojima might be testing the goodwill of his fans. Still, Konami isn’t charging full price for this tale from Big Boss’ past, and if the open world play is compelling, it may end up stoking the flames of excitement for the next game. The fact that we’re even discussing it in those terms is interesting though.


Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD Remaster (PS3, Vita) – March 18

While we bide our time waiting for some true next-gen RPGs, Square Enix is dusting off Final Fantasy X and its sequel and giving them a shiny new coat of paint. That means dramatically enhanced graphics and a remixed soundtrack, plus some extra content you may not have played the first time around.

Japan got this new package before those of us in the West, and critical reaction was largely positive. If you simply need an RPG fix, this might tide you over, especially since you’re getting two games for less than the price of one new release. You’re at least intrigued now, right?


Infamous: Second Son (PS4) – March 21

Hey, it’s a PS4 exclusive! With Titanfall helping Xbox One steal all the current gen thunder as of late, this game couldn’t be coming out at a more opportune time for Sony. Set seven years after its predecessor, Second Son reveals that the Conduits weren’t all wiped out, which would have been a bummer for the future of this series.

Word is that your character can obtain smoke, neon and video-based powers, and that’s just for starters. Oh, and we get to kind of, sort of see noted voice actor Troy Baker, as his face was used for motion capture purposes. Anticipation seems to be pretty high for this one, so we’ll see if it lives up to the buzz.

Also releasing this week: SteamWorld Dig (PS4, Vita) – March 18; Borderlands 2 (Vita) – March 18; Pure Chess (Wii U, 3DS) – March 20; Pokemon Battle Trozei (3DS) – March 20



Scott’s PS3 finally crapped out. What should I do now?


Ric found a really fun Iphone game. It is called Darklings. In the game you are a lil ghost and the goal is to mimic the icons over the enemies heads to defeat them. Then to collect lil stars as they escape. A really fun and challenging game!




Star Wars news:

Star Wars 7 will take place 30 years after Jedi.


The Incredible 2 is coming!

“The Incredibles”-director Brad Bird is writing the sequel for the superhero pic

Peanuts movie teaser:

Cap 3 vs. Superman/Batman!

They will share the same release date! Who wins????? Do you think one of the 2 will change the release date?

Follow Ric on


Ric’s YouTube page


Scientists capture first ever signal from the beginning of the Universe



Guy has to sneeze while playing trombone in an orchestra and doesn’t quite make it YouTube


What the Frozen trailer should have been. Confirms Scotts hate of this film.






Cue INXS Devil Inside!


A woman who claimed she had the devil inside her drove a car through the doors of a church, then stabbed her husband in the chest when he showed up to check on her. She said God told her to do it.

Stephanie Hamman crashed through the Church Hill, Tenn. church at around 10 p.m., then called her husband, Stephen, for help. He found her lying in front of the altar with a large kitchen knife, which she planted in his chest.

Stephen Hamman made it home, removed the knife, and called police for help.

Officers caught up with his wife at a hospital, where she told them she had decided to live her life for God, who told her to stop smoking marijuana all day and night. According to God, she said, weed is only for relaxing in the evenings.

"I love to smoke it," she said, according to a police press release. "Sometimes when I do, I start seeing things that others don't. Isn't God good? He told me this would happen, and just look, I am okay."

She also said God told her she needed to "get in the church," a command she apparently took very literally.

As for why she stabbed her husband, she said she knifed him for "worshipping the NASCAR race at Bristol."

She said she prayed she wouldn't have to use the knife, and asked police if Stephen was dead.

He is not. As of Monday afternoon, he was in fair condition at the same hospital where his wife was arrested.

Stephanie Hamman was charged with first-degree attempted murder and felony vandalism.


Cops Believe North Carolina Inmate Hid 10-Inch Revolver In His Rectum. Luckily, It Was Unloaded.


A man arrested this week in North Carolina

may have stashed a .38 barrel revolver in his rectum,

according to police, who reported that the unloaded

10-inch weapon was not discovered until after the suspect

had been booked into a cell in the county jail.


Michael Leon Ward, a 22-year-old Georgia resident,

was arrested Monday after a trooper spotted him speeding.

Ward, who resisted arrest, was subdued with the

help of a stun gun. A subsequent search of his vehicle

resulted in additional charges for possession of

marijuana and drug paraphernalia.


But it was only after Ward--who is a fugitive on a

murder warrant out of Atlanta--entered the Onslow County

jail that sheriff’s investigators discovered what else he possessed.

According to cops, Ward, pictured at right,

summoned jailers to his cell, claiming that someone was

trying to kill him, and that he discovered a gun inside his cell.

The weapon was found in the toilet, where Ward claimed

he tossed it after finding it in his bunk.


Sheriff’s investigators say they are investigating

how Ward got the weapon into the jail, since he had been

“strip searched prior to being booked into a cell block.”

The inmate, a press release notes, was taken today to a

local hospital “for possible injuries that may have occurred

to Ward’s rectum where it is believed Ward may have

concealed” the revolver.


The gun, deputies reported, was test fired and found

to be operational.


brought to you be duches janal from fenton   

'Dead' Mississippi man who kicked out of body bag has died


(Reuters) - A Mississippi man pronounced dead last month

and put in a body bag only to come alive just before embalming,

has now died, a coroner said on Thursday.


Walter Williams, 78, died at about 1 a.m. local time in Lexington,

two weeks after shocking people when he started breathing and

kicking at a funeral home where he was taken after being

declared dead, said Holmes County Coroner Dexter Howard.


"I think he's gone this time," Williams' nephew,

Eddie Hester, told a local television station.

Williams had been receiving hospice care at home for

end-stage cardiovascular disease and other ailments

before his near-death experience on February 27.

The coroner mistakenly declared him dead after neither

he nor nurses could find a pulse.


Hospital officials said Williams appeared to have been

suffering from severe hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar.

That condition, combined with his medications, would have

made it difficult to find a pulse and may have put him

in such a deep sleep that it appeared he had died.


Williams, known by the nicknames "Snowball" or "Snow"

because he was born during a rare Mississippi blizzard, took

the experience in stride and told his family to let him go when

his time came for good.


"He told us, 'It's all up in the Lord's hands.

Whatever the Lord says, I'm willing to do.

Y'all just accept it,'" his daughter Gracie Williams said.

Toddler found with heroin at New Jersey daycare center


(Reuters) -

A New Jersey man has been charged with endangering

the welfare of a child after his toddler was found with

dozens of heroin packets at daycare, police said on Tuesday.

A worker at the child-care center in Paterson, New Jersey,

about 20 miles west of New York City, discovered 48

glassine envelopes of heroin stuffed in the 2-year-old's

jacket on Monday, according to Paterson Police Lieutenant

Bert Ribeiro.


The employee called police, who determined the father

had accompanied the child to the center that day.


There was no indication the child was aware the drugs

were in his jacket, police said.


The child's father, identified by police as Phillip Young,

27, was arrested and being held on $85,000 bail, authorities said.