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Tanked Episode 288 for Tuesday. 25, 2014


Coors Party Train crashes.




There's a search engine called PornMD that searches all of the big free porn video sites at once.  And they just debuted an amazing new feature that's both hypnotic and terrifying.

You can actually see a live, real-time stream of what kind of porn people are searching for.  It never ends.  People just keep searching and it just keeps scrolling.  It's so deviant, even WE don't recognize some of them.


Make sure to join us on Sunday for the Oscars. Links and details will be on the the Tanked FB page.


Harold Ramis Passes

Writer, director, and actor Harold Ramis—who is responsible for classic films like Ghostbusters and Groundhog Day—has passed away at 69. The Chicago Tribune reports that Ramis' death was caused by "complications of autoimmune inflammatory vasculitis, a rare disease that involves swelling of the blood vessels."


Movie fans are undoubtedly still reeling over the death of Harold Ramis earlier today, and now the responses from his closest friends and collaborators are starting to trickle in. In a short statement to Time, via his lawyer, Bill Murray, who worked with Ramis on numerous films, wrote:

Harold Ramis and I together did the National Lampoon Show off Broadway, Meatballs, Stripes, Caddyshack, Ghostbusters and Groundhog Day. He earned his keep on this planet. God bless him.

This statement is notable not just because of their prior collaborations, but because the two haven’t spoken to each other since they wrapped on Groundhog Day.


Shia Labeauf’s stupidity gets made fun of epically!


So in Cann’s promoting his new flick he had on a paper bag saying “I am no longer famous”


Shia opened up an art gallery in Cali with a bunch of items representing his movies in one room. Shea was sitting in the next room with the same bag on his head. He allowed people to come in and talk to him. Many people visited with one photographer even pulling off the bag to prove it was him.


So to make fun of that. Jenson Karp form the Podcast get up on this noticed that an art gallery was next to the gallery he was using. So to have fun with it Karp asked Jerry O’Connoll to sit and do the same thing. Have items from his movies and allow people to sit and talk to him. Unlike Labeauf Gerry talked with his visitors. Within 2 days the line was as long for Gerry as Shia.


The galleries were called #iamsorry and O’Connols was called #iamsorrytoo.


Robocop review


Matinee at best! Not a bad movie overall. Just not great! If you wanna see it go see it for Gary Oldman alone. He is good. Not enough action for me. Also I found it lacking mystery! I wanted to not see the suit as fast. Similar to what they did in the original! Don’t expect to see a 2nd. With a 100$M budget and only making around 30$m so far is not a good showing 3 weeks in.


Mr. Moviefone’s lines are going dead.

For 25 years, residents of America’s biggest cities have been able to call 777-FILM to receive movie listing information and buy tickets. The service’s goofily booming greeting became a cultural catchphrase: “Hello, and welcome to Moviefone!”

Over the weekend, callers were told that the automated service would soon go silent, overtaken by new technology and shifting consumer habits.


Russ Leatherman, a founder of Moviefone who provided the famous greeting, left the company last November.


At its peak in the mid-1990s, Moviefone received more than three million calls a week.

Follow Ric on


Ric’s YouTube page

 FOOD news

Sad day for anyone who hoped never to know what exactly they were eating in their Hot Pockets ® Philly Steak & Cheese sandwich — according to the USDA it might be the meat of "diseased and unsound animals."

Specifically, the Hot Pockets Philly Steak & Cheese sandwiches (full list here) may be connected with a USDA recall on Friday of meat from the Rancho Feeding Corporation, which "processed diseased and unsound animals and carried out these activities without the benefit or full benefit of federal inspection."

Giant Supermarket and Nestlé have already recalled a "limited amount" of Hot Pockets products after discovering Rancho Feeding Corp. meat was used at a facility that makes Hot Pockets. Racho has recalled nearly 9 million pounds of meat since Friday.


“Hot pockets are made specifically for diarrhea enthusiasts, so I don't see a downside to any of this.”

Breaking breakfast news:

Taco Bell is launching a new menu for the most important meal of the day. After Taco Bell announced its biggest menu expansion in history this morning, pictures of one of the new offerings-the legendary waffle taco-are already trending on Twitter.

First introduced as a test run last August at 100 locations, the waffle taco uses a waffle for the shell, wrapped around eggs, cheese and syrup on top with the choice of sausage or bacon. The restaurant now plans to roll it out in over 5,500 locations starting March 27.


Other offerings include the A.M. Crunchwrap, similar to the classic Crunchwrap, but with a breakfast twist of scrambled eggs, hash browns, melted cheese and bacon, sausage, or steak, wrapped up in a warm flour tortilla, as well as breakfast burritos, grilled tacos, flatbreads and Cinnabon Delights (warm donut holes filled with Cinnabon frosting and dusted with cinnamon sugar). It's been a big day for breakfast, as Taco Bell's announcement comes right on the heels of AP reports of McDonald's considering extending its breakfast menu hours.





We’re assuming that when the musical instrument known as the sheng was invented in China thousands of years ago, no one knew that it would one day be used to play a magically spot-on version of the Super Mario Bros. theme music







Dominos customer says he 'severely' burnt penis while 'making love' to pizza


Florida woman calls 911 about raw waffles


TAMPA, Fla., Feb. 24 (UPI) --

Apparently undercooked breakfast food is an emergency

in at least one state…


According to a 911 call posted online by the

Tampa Police Department, a Florida woman called the

emergency number to report that she was served raw,

uncooked waffles at a Village Inn in Tampa.


"They gave me some raw waffles," the call begins

"and I told him that I don't want the waffles."

According to the clip, the call was placed on January 31, 2013.

“[The restaurant] sold me something that was uncooked,

I'm already paying for the whole waffle that was already

uncooked, so you want me to pay for the half of waffle

too that ain't uncooked,” the woman told the 911 operator.

She then tells the operator that she wants the waffle

charges taken off her bill.

According to Tampa PD’s posting, about half of the 911

calls they receive aren't emergencies.


“The dispatchers on the other end of the 911 line have a

tough job waiting for the next emergency,

but did you know that approximately 50% of the calls they

receive on 911 aren't emergencies?”

the department wrote.

Florida woman is told she has one month to 'plug in' to the grid


CAPE CORAL, Fla., Feb. 24 (UPI) --

A Florida woman who has been living off the grid for

about a year and a half was told that she has one

month to "plug in" or deal with the authorities.


Cape Coral woman Robin Speronis doesn’t have any city

power or water running into her house and relies on solar

panels and treated rain water to survive.

"I'm choosing to live without being dependent on the system,

" she told NBC-2.


Officials from Cape Coral Code Compliance met with

Speronis and her attorney about the situation last week.


"When this was brought to my attention I felt like

I had to act. I felt like Cape Coral was intruding in the

woman's lifestyle," said Todd Allen, Speronis' attorney.


A magistrate ruled that Speronis was guilty of not

being hooked up to a water supply that had been

approved by the town.


"What happened here is people don't talk to us or

cooperate. We don't communicate then we are forced to

use the legal tools at our disposal," said Frank Cassidy of

Cape Coral Code Compliance. "In the whole scheme of

things, it’s no different than the hundreds of cases we deal

with all the time.”

Speronis has indicated that she doesn’t plan on changing her lifestyle.

"I don't have to justify my life. They have to. That's the way

our system of justice works. They have justify it. I don't,"

Speronis said.


Man went to ex's, painted penis on own artwork

NEW YORK, Feb. 25 (UPI) --

A New York real estate boss and amateur

painter allegedly went to his ex-girlfriend's

apartment and drew penises on his own artwork.


Sean Ludwick, 41, managing partner at

Black House Development, allegedly used a key given to

him by ex-girlfriend Lana Trevisan, 40,

while they were still together to enter her apartment

while drunk Feb. 17, the New York Post reported Tuesday.


Ludwick allegedly painted penises on his own artwork at

Trevisan's apartment and dumped a large amount of

paint on the floor.


He allegedly used a knife to etch the words

"studio art" on two stools.

"I became unhappy when I found out she was

having an affair," Ludwick said prior to a Monday

appearance in Manhattan Criminal Court. "I augmented

my work to reflect my emotions at that moment."


Ludwick allegedly used Trevisan's computer to send lewd

emails to executives at the woman's company,

alleging she "has engaged in relationships with married men,

including her current supervisor," the criminal complaint states.

Ludwick is charged with computer trespassing,

aggravated harassment, criminal mischief, stalking

and impersonation.


Dog poop argument led to knife attack

ANNAPOLIS, Md., Feb. 25 (UPI) --

A Maryland woman was arrested for allegedly attacking

her neighbor with a knife during an argument about

dog poop, police said.


Annapolis police said officers responded to a residence

in the city around 6:30 p.m. Sunday and the 59-year-old

victim told officers neighbor Tameka Dareese Wright, 36,

had become angry when asked to pick up dog feces the

victim believed to have come from Wright's dog, the Capital,

Annapolis, reported Tuesday.


Wright allegedly retrieved a knife from her home during the

argument and swung it at the other woman, causing a

laceration to her hand, police said.

Police said there were several witnesses to the incident.

Wright was arrested on charges of first and

second-degree assault, possession of a dangerous weapon

with intent to injure and reckless endangerment.

Escaped suspect called 911 for handcuff help

DESOTO, Texas, Feb. 25 (UPI) --

Police in Texas said a man who escaped custody

was recaptured when he called 911 to complain

about pain resulting from his handcuffs.


DeSoto police said Dyonta Rose, 29, was arrested on

drug charges Saturday when he was found to be

carrying a backpack with suspected narcotics and he

was handcuffed before escaping when the arresting

officer left him alone, reported Tuesday.


"The suspect was able to escape due to apparent

equipment failure, which has since been rectified,"

DeSoto police said in a statement.


Dallas Police said Rose called 911 later the same evening

and complained the circulation in his arm was being cut

off by the handcuffs he was still wearing.

Rose was placed back under arrest and is facing felony

charges of possession of a controlled substance,

escape and tampering with evidence. He is also facing a

misdemeanor count of possession of marijuana.




Hi Scott,


Hang on a minute.  I'm trying to remember if I've ever used the subject "Cunt Punch" in an email before... nope.  This is a first.  But I have a good reason, I promise.


Let me start by saying this email is not about spiking a bowl of fruit punch with fish sauce; it's not about an edgy all-female metal band; it's not about my favorite Mortal Combat finishing move.  It's about American Sign Language.


I ran across this video today that would have made me pay more attention in third grade while learning sign language had we learned phrases like this.  Although sign language is exclusively visual, Kristin does a good job of articulating what she's signing, and just hearing her say, "We just punted that cunt. Hooray!" helps make up for only hearing the audio.


There are some other excellent examples on her YouTube channel I cannot wait to use.  Throwing out the sign for "twat waffle" or "you have a sandy vagina" is sure to make me feel better the next time someone cuts me off in traffic.


If you're looking to spice things up in the bedroom, she's included phrases like, "less talk, more anal" or "I want to tongue punch your fart box."


Now, if you'll excuse me.  I need to clear my browser history.

Adam W