Donate any amount one time
Monthly subscription of $33.33 a month recurring.

Powered by Squarespace

Tanked Episode 279 for Dec. 3, 2013



- Beer/Mixed Drinks

- Weekend Catchup


- Ron burgundy doing the news?

On Saturday night, WILL FERRELL popped up on KXMB-TV in Bismarck, North Dakota to co-anchor the local news.  As Ron Burgundy, of course.

It was a great idea, and while it wasn't HI-larious, he did have a few funny lines.  It was a totally deadpan performance.



- Sriracha Candy Cane PerpetualKid



Amazon Prime AIR



Last night, JEFF BEZOS, the founder and CEO of Amazon announced a new plan:  Delivery by FLYING ROBOT DRONES.

The drones could deliver a product just HALF AN HOUR after you order it . . . and they should be operational in the next four or five years.


Full Write up over at:




Cloud Connected Sex Toys



YouTube Fox News

Durex Funderware




Celebrity Death Shot

Paul Walker dead at 40 Fast and on Fire

Scott saw Frozen.


Follow Ric on


Ric’s YouTube page


This week we have 6 food beating submissions from the same listener! but only 4 made it.


Happy Food Beating!



Investigators allege that Kenneth Fulmer, 44, left his family’s residence Monday evening after arguing with a neighbor. He reportedly went out drinking and returned to the Bossier Parish home intoxicated.

While Fulmer was carousing, his 77 year old father Jack went out and purchased a birthday cookie cake to "cheer up his son," according to a Bossier Sheriff's Office spokesperson.  

However, when Fulmer returned home drunk, he began arguing with his father and subsequently “battered” him “with a cookie cake,” according to a sheriff’s report.

Specifically, investigators charge, Fulmer smashed the cake over the head of his father, who was “covered in the cookie cake” when Deputy Balkom arrived at the home in response to a disorderly person call.

Pictured in the above mug shot, Fulmer was arrested for simple battery of the infirmed and disturbing the peace. Fulmer was booked into the local jail shortly before midnight Monday. He was released yesterday after posting $15,150 bond. (1 page)


Florida Man, 36, Assaulted Teen Relative With Taco Bell Burrito


A Florida man is facing a misdemeanor charge after allegedly battering a teenage relative with a Taco Bell burrito.

Police allege that Erik Brown, 36, smashed the 16-year-old boy in the face with the burrito during a February 15 domestic dispute at a Port St. Lucie residence.

The victim told cops that he was having a “verbal altercation” with his mother and Brown, his brother-in-law, when Brown “asked his mother to bring him the burrito,” according to an arrest affidavit.

Brown then allegedly threw the burrito “with force” at the victim, striking the boy in the face with the fast food item. Whileinterviewing the teen, cops noted that he had “burrito cheese, sauce and meat all over his clothing and face.”

Brown told police that the victim was disrespectful to his mother and had cursed at the woman. He also acknowledged that he had “delivered” the burrito. After being booked into the county jail, Brown warned that he would “take care” of the teen upon his release from custody, adding that the victim “was going to get knocked out.”

According to online records, Brown, seen above, is scheduled for a March 20 arraignment in Circuit Court.




JULY 29--In separate incidents, two men allegedly assaulted their girlfriends with pizza, police report. It’s a Two-fer!



North Carolina cops yesterday arrested Cody Sebastian Parsons, 25, after responding to a domestic disturbance call at the homehe shares with Sarah McKinney, his 19-year-old girlfriend.

According to a Wilkesboro Police Department report, Parsons became angry after slipping on a wet floor. As he cursed at McKinney, Parsons allegedly pelted her with pizza.

During questioning by cops, Parsons denied throwing the pizza. However, an officer reported finding “pizza sauce on the back of [McKinney’s] right rib cage.” Additionally, “there were pieces of pizza all over the living room floor as well as on the wall behind the front entrance door to the apartment.”

Parsons was charged with assault on a female and booked into the Wilkes County jail on the misdemeanor count.


In a prior incident, a South Carolina man was collared last Wednesday for domestic violence after he allegedly assaulted his girlfriend with a slice.

Jimmy Ray Poage, 47, was busted after the 40-year-old victim told sheriff’s deputies that he threw pizza at her in the couple’s FortMill home. The woman--who had pizza sauce on her face, arms, and clothing--also said that Poage grabbed her around the neck and slammed her into a kitchen counter.

Poage, seen in the adjacent mug shot, admitted pelting his girlfriend with pizza, but claimed that she threw it at him first. But while the woman’s clothing was splattered with sauce, Poage’s garments were “clear of pizza or pizza sauce,” according to a York County Sheriff’s report.

Charged with domestic violence, Poage was booked in to the county jail, from which he was released Thursday after posting $2,130 bond.



Soldier arrested in Seattle for groping, hot dog assault

Saturday night after police said he groped several women, assaulted a parking lot security guard and threw a hot dog at the guard.

The security guard called police at about 11:15 p.m. and said he saw the man grope four women in a parking garage near the intersection of 2nd Avenue and Union Street, the Seattle Police Department said. The guard confronted the man, who was carrying a hot dog, and the man swung at him, threw his hot dog at him, shoved him and fled.

When officers arrived and approached the man, he ran off, police said. Officers arrested him after a brief struggle, and he went on to claim that police had broken one of his arms. He later recanted that story and dared officers to break one of his legs. They did not, police said.

People at the scene who said they knew the man told police he had consumed rum, tequila and sleeping pills earlier in the evening.

Police took him to the West Precinct and released him to his commanding officers from JBLM.


Another Hot Dog Food Beating (with video!)

This video was filmed by a fan  who attended last week's 49ers-Redskins game. He provides some context:


This video pretty much sums the Redskins season. This guy here with what seemed to be his girlfriend got into a shouting match...before the video starts he says something about "yea after I fucked you in the ass this morning." And then the video starts.

What a gentleman! Even without the inclusion of the fucking-in-the-ass detail, this guy deserved that hot dog to the face. Only the worst people on the planet yell, "Deuces!" while trying to act tough and cool.



A little friendly competition is good for a marriage.....


That's how ya do it.  (drops the mic and exits)


Mad Stacy


(Total of 5 stories, record?)


STACY’S TOTAL IS 4 makes her a Duchess!

Knighting Ceremony Speakith.

Step up *STACY* We hereby decree you Mad Stacy, Duchess of California! We welcome you to the Tanked Keg Table with the other knights, dames and barons. Where you are lavishly rewarded with Rape Vans, Honey Ham Mead, Huckleberry Huskies, Tube Socks, Piss dungeons, Stale Twinkies, Skunkapes, Bottle Caps, Beer Wenches and Pool Boys.



Vaginal Knitting

There is a woman that has combined two things that we NEVER thought would be combines.  Vaginas and knitting!


Casey Jenkins identifies herself as a former "craftivist"—a term she defines as "using traditional craft techniques for a political or social activism purpose." She and her colleagues in the Craft Cartel acted as a sort of "Pussy Riot" in their native Australia, combating misogyny and closed government. It doesn't get much more open than her latest work of gallery performance art, "Casting Off My Womb"—or as Aussie TV called it, "Vaginal Knitting."


This woman will be spending 28 days knitting from wool yarn that she has inserted into her womanly pleasure palace. *Play video!



*Monday Web Gem on FaceBook. Donkey Kong Projection Cake. Check it out over at our FB page






Pope Francis Was Once A Nightclub Bouncer

The Pope has revealed he once worked as a nightclub bouncer in his native Argentina.

    The 77-year-old spoke about his life working the doors at a venue in Buenos Aires during a visit to a church in a working class suburb of Rome.

    The Pontiff also talked about his experiences sweeping floors and working in a laboratory as a teenager, according to Vatican newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano.

    Francis spent four hours chatting to followers at the church of San Cirillo Alessandrino after celebrating Mass on Sunday.

    He did not go into details about his career as a bouncer or what experiences it had brought to his current job as head of the Roman Catholic Church.


Man gets toilet roll holder stuck up his bottom - and rings 999 for assistance

A man had to dial 999 after getting a

toilet roll holder stuck in his bottom.

He was unable to move and called from his mobile.

He was freed from the toilet roll holder by firemen

and needed on-the-spot medical treatment by paramedics.


The un-named man, from Newport, South Wales,

was given “suitable advice” by firemen to avoid getting

into a similar situation again.


South Wales Fire and Rescue Service

has freed 864 people in three years – 26 were in sexy handcuffs.


The Fire Brigades Union in Wales said:

“We do have to deal with wacky things.

“Sometimes someone will tell you a story and

you just think: 'I can’t top that'.


“To be honest, if I managed to get myself into one of these

sorts of scrapes, the last thing I would want would be a

whole crew of firefighters coming to see me!”


The increase in the number of amorous couples getting stuck

in handcuffs has been put down to the “Fifty Shades of Grey” effect.