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Thursday
Nov142013

 ANNOUNCEMENTS 

 

- Beer/Mixed Drinks

- Weekend Catchup

- Nugget in a Buscuit seems to be a popular episode that people are downloading. and i just learned what nugget in a buscuit means. urban dictonary says:

“The Sexual Act Of Taking A Dump In Between A Womans Breast's And Rubbing It Together.”

Awh, Susan Boyle wants me to give her a nugget in a biscuit!!



 

 ODD NEWS 

 

Florida Award Nominations 2013

 

#1

Episode 221

Manatee Rides Manatee

Authorities identified on Tuesday a woman

who apparently tried to hitch a ride on a manatee

in the waters off Fort Desoto Park in Pinellas County,

Florida over the weekend.

 

According to WPLG,

 

Ana Gloria Garcia Gutierrez, 52, turned herself in

amid intense media attention. She told officers that she

was new to the area and didn't realize that contact with

manatees was a no-no,

 

WPLG reported.

 

The woman could be charged with a second-degree

misdemeanor for violating the Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act,

which states: "It is unlawful for any person at any time,

by any means, or in any manner intentionally or

negligently to annoy, molest, harass, or disturb or attempt

to molest, harass, or disturb any Manatee."

 

Her case will be forwarded to the State District Attorney's Office

for possible prosecution, the station said.

 

hlntv.com

 

#2

Episode 244

Poops in yard, Naked in Pool

 

Cheryl Beauchamp, 35, has been charged with burglary.

A Florida woman was arrested after she allegedly

pooped in a man's backyard and took a skinny dip

in his swimming pool.

Cheryl Beauchamp, 35, was detained Thursday

and charged with burglary,

 

according to the Brevard County Sheriff's Office.

 

The Palm Bay homeowner called police after he said

he spotted Beauchamp on a home surveillance system,

 

Click Orlando reported.

 

He told officers he witnessed Beauchamp defecate in the yard

before using a rock to cut the screen door that led to the pool.

Beauchamp allegedly told police she was

"just taking a bath because she was homeless,"

 

according to a report obtained by WESH.

 

Officers say she added that she was on her way to

Washington D.C. to yell at Barack Obama.



#3

245

Aggressive ducks attack in Florida

MIAMI SPRINGS, Fla., April 10 (UPI) --

 

Residents of a Florida city are complaining to officials

about unprovoked and unexpected attacks from

aggressive ducks.

 

Rosie Buckner of Miami Springs told police and city

officials she was accosted by a duck "suddenly and without warning"

while walking near a bike path,

 

The Miami Herald reported Wednesday.

 

"It was a vicious, aggressive duck that came after us

from across the street," Buckner said.

"I fought the duck off, but not before I was bitten by it."

 

Police said they have received several reports from around

the city about attacks from overly aggressive Muscovy ducks,

which were originally brought to the area from South America.

 

City Manager Ron Gorland said the birds are likely

protecting their territories.

"They are typically guarding nests," Gorland said.

"They're not new to Miami Springs."

Gorland said officials "are looking into what our

options are" for dealing with the ducks.



#4

Episode 249

Scott Barron Allegedly Masturbates At Sailboats, Claims He's Exercising   

Talk about raising the mast.

Scott Barron, 67, is accused of masturbating

in front of passing sailboats at a boat ramp Saturday

in Alva, Fla., NBC 2 reported.

 

An off-duty deputy says he spotted Barron --

penis in hand -- standing on a sailboat parked at the ramp.

 

When the officer told him to stop, Barron first

allegedly swore at him, then said he was just exercising.

 

Apparently the officer doesn't care about forearm strength,

because he slapped Barron with an indecent exposure charge.

 

Barron was released from jail Sunday on $1,000 bond,

 

according to the Lee County Sheriff's Office.

 

Barron isn't the only one who allegedly can't

handle himself in public. In April,

the aptly-named Elijah Slocumb was arrested after

allegedly masturbating in public with such animation that

"his whole body was shaking."





#5

Episode 250

honeymoon prostitution sting

ORLANDO, Fla., May 15 (UPI) --

 

Authorities in Florida said a man on his honeymoon

was one of 92 people arrested during a four-day

undercover prostitution sting.

 

The Polk County Sheriff's Office said 92 arrests were made

May 8-11 by undercover detectives using websites where

men and women were known to make prostitution-related

arrangements.

 

Detectives said Mohammed Ahmed, 21, of Illinois

was one of those arrested after answering an ad placed

online by the undercover investigators. They said Ahmed,

who was visiting Orlando with his wife on their honeymoon,

was arrested and charged with one count of soliciting prostitution

and one count of possession of marijuana.

 

Ahmed's wife called authorities to report him missing after he

failed to return to their hotel room and she was informed of his arrest,

the sheriff's office said.



#6

Episode 250

Fla. Siblings Charged With Stealing Frito-Lay Chips From Factory

Two Citra, Fla., siblings were arrested and charged with burglary

and grand theft after police caught the pair with a van full of

allegedly stolen Frito-Lay brand products.

 

Police said they spotted Darren Hagerman, 25,

and Jessica Huggard, 22, Thursday evening pulling away

from industrial area of Ocala, Fla., where many factories are located.

The siblings were pulled over when police noticed a

2-year-old jumping around in the backseat of their vehicle,

 

according to the the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

 

When an officer looked inside the car, he noticed it was packed

with hundreds of bags of Frito-Lay brand chips,

 

ABC Orlando affiliate WFTV reported.

 

"There were potato chips, and Cheetos, and pork rinds

all over the van," Marion County Sheriff's Office spokesman

Judge Cochran told WFTV.

 

Hagerman reportedly told the officer he and Huggard

took the chips from a dumpster behind the Frito-Lay

factory near where they were stopped as a way to make money,

 

the news release stated.

 

While factory workers told authorities that the security

gate was locked, police found that Hagerman had a master key

that worked on the gate lock at the Frito-Lay plant,

according to the news release.

 

Some Frito-Lay employees at the distribution center told

WFTV that they've been chasing Hagerman away

from the plant for years.

Both Hagerman and Huggard were booked at the Marion County

Jail just before 12:30 a.m. on Friday morning.

 

They were charged with burglary and grand theft,

and their bonds were set at $10,000 each.

While Huggard bonded out, Hagerman remained in custody.

The toddler in the vehicle was given to a relative,

the sheriff's office said.




#7

Episode 258

Alleged Florida thief filled out job application

OCALA, Fla., July 10 (UPI) --

 

Police in Florida said they arrested a suspect accused

of taking cash from a store after writing his real name

down on a job application.

 

The Ocala Police Department said employees at Martin Oil

in Ocala told officers Dwayne Thomas, 33, a regular customer,

had grabbed money out of the cash register Tuesday and

fled the store after writing his name down on a job application.

 

Thomas was located a few blocks from the store,

and allegedly resisted the officer who attempted to arrest him

and fled on foot before being subdued.

The missing cash was found in his pocket, police said.

 

Thomas was charged with burglary, petty theft

retail and resisting with violence.




#8

Episode 259

Kimberly Womack Blocks McDonalds Drive-thru, Demands Free Food

A Florida woman was arrested for DUI

after allegedly making a big to-do in a

McDonalds drive-thru over two Big Macs.

 

Kimberly Womack went through the

drive-thru at a Mickey D's in

New Port Richey, Fla., early Sunday morning

and demanded two free Big Macs because she

wasn't impressed with the ones

she had eaten previously.

When employees told her Big Macs weren't

available because the restaurant was in the

middle of breakfast, she demanded

two free Egg McMuffins,

 

TampaBay.com reported.

 

When employees denied that request,

Womack, 34, refused to leave. She sat in her car

at the drive-thru window for more than 10 minutes

as more and more cars stacked up behind her,

 

WTSP-TV reported.

 

When police arrived on the scene, Womack explained

that her rights were being violated.

The responding officers said they

smelled alcohol on her breath. A subsequent

test showed her blood alcohol content to be .108,

 

BayNews9.com reported.

 

The suspect also told a deputy she took Klonopin,

an anti-anxiety drug,

 

New Port Richey Patch reported.

 

Womack was charged with DUI, but released

on her own recognizance.





#9

Episode 262

Suspect: Alleged victims 'haters' mad about his 'way with the ladies'

FORT PIERCE, Fla., Aug. 7 (UPI) --

 

Police in Florida said a man accused of threatening people

with a knife told officers those who reported him were

"haters" jealous of his "way with the ladies."

 

Fort Piece police said officers responded July 27 to a report

of a man with a knife threatening customers at the

Cobb's Landing restaurant in Fort Pierce,

 

TCPalm.com reported Wednesday.

 

A manager at the restaurant told officers Robert Rock, 50,

had been shouting at customers and the manager saw the man

pull a knife and threaten to kill a patron.

Rock, who hails from Linden, N.J.,

initially refused to speak to officers.

 

"He then began saying he didn`t do anything wrong,

the people who were complaining on him were just haters

because he had a way with the ladies and they should be arrested,

not him," the police report states.

 

Then he stated “he would use the Zimmerman defense because

he was streetwise and he knew how to work the system."

A man told officers he came to the restaurant to pick up his wife,

who was attending a baby shower, and he witnessed Rock

harassing several of the women at the shower and refusing

their requests to leave them alone.

 

The man said Rock eventually

drew a knife and threatened to kill members of the group.

Rock was taken to the St. Lucie County jail on a charge of

aggravated assault.




#10

Episode 264

Samurai-sword wielding man was angry about shrimp

DELTONA, Fla., Aug. 21 (UPI) --

 

Police in Florida said a man who brandished

a samurai sword and allegedly attacked his mother's

boyfriend was angry about a missing can of shrimp.

 

The Volusia County Sheriff's Office said

 

Jayson Laughman, 34, of Deltona, told deputies he

"went into code red and lost his temper" when his

mother's boyfriend, Michael Airhart, 52, accused him of

taking a can of shrimp,

 

the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Wednesday.

 

Deputies said Laughman, who told investigators he

could not remember the entire incident due to his rage,

and Michael Airhart, 52, engaged in a "heated verbal argument"

and went outside to "engage in a physical fight."

Laughman allegedly threatened Airhart with a statue,

but no physical confrontation ensued and Airhart

went back inside the home.

 

Airhart returned to his room with Laughman's mother

and a few minutes later Laughman started breaking through

the bedroom door with a metal samurai sword, police said.

Laughman threatened Airhart with the sword,

but left the room after the couple talked to him for a few minutes,

deputies said. He allegedly soon returned to the room and

threw two kitchen knives at Airhart.

 

Airhart dodged the knives and left through a sliding glass window.

Laughman was arrested on a charge of

aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

He was taken to Florida Fish Memorial Hospital after

complaining of chest pains.



#11

Episode 266

Police: Patrol car thief 'just wanted to drive around'

 

NORTH MIAMI BEACH, Fla., Sept. 3 (UPI) --

 

A Florida man accused of stealing a patrol cruiser

from a police parking lot told officers he

"just wanted to drive around,"

 

North Miami Beach police said.

 

North Miami Beach police said the door

of the marked patrol car "may have been unlocked"

when Stalyn Enrique Hernandez, 28, found a key inside

the vehicle around 5 p.m. Sunday and drove off,

 

The Miami Herald reported Tuesday.

 

"Upon discovering that the vehicle was not where

it had been left I began contacting my co-workers

to see if any of them may have taken the vehicle for

some reason," North Miami Beach Officer Felipe Hernandez,

who police said is not related to the suspect,

wrote in his report.

 

Officer Hernandez and another officer found the car in

motion near West Dixie Highway and pulled the vehicle over.

"Hernandez then immediately rolled down the window and stated,

'I just wanted to drive around for a little bit,'"

the report said.

 

Stalyn Hernandez was arrested on a charge of grand theft

and taken to the Miami-Dade County jail.




#12

Episode 267

Rubbed feces on the woman's back

Police in Florida say a fight between a Brooksville man

and his girlfriend took a really crappy turn when the

former decided to smear feces on the latter's back.

Officers arrived at the S. Broad Street home of Jacob E. Kuhn

after being alerted to a domestic dispute.

 

Kuhn's unidentified live-in girlfriend told police an argument

between the two escalated to a physical altercation,

during which Kuhn rubbed feces on the woman's back.

Alcohol was a factor in Kuhn's decision making,

according to the official report.

 

It remains unclear where Kuhn obtained the feces or to whom they belong.

Kuhn was arrested upon returning to the scene of the crime

and charged with domestic battery.

 

A Google search reveals that Kuhn has an extensive rap sheet

that includes driving under the influence, driving with a

suspended license, property damage, battery, and

a probation violation.

 

[H/T: Guyism, mug shot via WPBF]

Update: the poop was his.

NOT how you do a dirty Sanchez bub.       

...or a Cleveland Steamer for that matter.

Or he was performing the Cleveland Spackle!

(the act of covering a surface with fecal particles in a pattern resembling spackle)




#13

Episode 269

Dirt bike rider fled police officers because he was 'bored'

GAINESVILLE, Fla., Sept. 24 (UPI) --

 

Police in Florida said an 18-year-old on a dirt bike who led police

on a chase that reached 80 mph told officers he fled because he

"was bored."

 

Gainesville police said

 

an officer spotted Daron Brown, 18,

speeding and driving recklessly on a red dirt bike at 6:25 p.m.

Saturday near the Martin Luther King Jr. Recreation Center

in Gainesville,

 

The Gainesville Sun reported Tuesday.

 

Officer Daniel Abbott gave chase and determined there

was no license plate on the bike, police said.

Brown attempted to flee through a park and another

officer gave chase. The chase reached speeds of 80-90 mph,

 

police said.

 

Police said Brown eventually abandoned the bike in a backyard

and was found hiding in the house.

Officers asked Brown why he fled.

"I was bored," he allegedly replied.

Brown charged with fleeing police and driving an

unregistered vehicle. He was taken to the

Alachua County jail in lieu of $12,000 bond.



#14

Episode 270

Loose baggy pants foil Florida church robbery suspect's getaway

By Barbara Liston

ORLANDO, Florida (Reuters) -

 

A robber who was running away with his hands full of loot

from a Florida church was caught when his baggy pants

started slipping off,

 

a sheriff's spokeswoman said.

 

She said the man, Anthony Jason Garcia, 31,

had been praying in the sanctuary of a large Catholic Church

near Walt Disney World on Wednesday when he arose,

went into the gift shop, grabbed the cash drawer and ran

toward the courtyard with church maintenance director

Joe Larkin in pursuit.

 

As they ran, Garcia's baggy pants began to fall down,

 

said Orange County Sheriff's spokeswoman Jane Watrel.

 

"So here Garcia is, both hands holding the cash drawer

and trying to pull up his pants. So he (Larkin) sees an opening,"

Watrel said.

"He plunges for him and pulls his pants down further

which trips up the guy." Larkin put Garcia in a wrestling

hold called a "cradle" until deputies arrived a few minutes later,

Watrel said.

 

She said 12 customers and four clerks were present at Mary,

Queen of the Universe Shrine during the robbery,

but most of them did not immediately notice what was happening

because Garcia was so quiet and did not use a weapon.

 

Garcia was arrested on a felony robbery charge.

He remained in the Orange County Jail on Thursday.

Church officials say the church gift shop is the largest

in the southeastern United States.

The sheriff's office said it was its policy not to disclose

the amounts of money in robberies.



#15

Episode 271

 

Submitted by Sir Mad Billy of California. The only food beating fla nomination

Florida Man, 51, Arrested For Chicken Wing Assault On Wife

   

Meet Patrick Arthur.

 

The Florida man, 51, was arrested last night for battering

his wife with a bowl of chicken wings.

 

Cops were summoned to the Myakka City home Arthur shares

with his wife Darlene. The couple, who have been married three years,

had been fighting, Darlene’s daughter told a 911 operator.

 

After a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputy arrived at the

Wingate Road residence, Patrick--who appeared to be enjoying

a glass of wine--explained that he was “tired of the marriage and all

the fighting so he tried to leave only to be stopped by Darlene.”

 

When Darlene “wouldn’t leave him alone,” Patrick “got mad and threw

a bowl of chicken wings at her,” an investigator noted.

While the wings “struck her in the upper body,”

 

Darlene told cops that she did not want to press charges

and have her spouse jailed. Despite that request, Patrick

was arrested for misdemeanor battery and booked into the

county lockup, where bond has yet to be set.

He is scheduled for an October 10 court appearance.





#16

Episode 273

Woman stabbed boyfriend because dog ate marijuana

 

DANIA BEACH, Fla., Oct. 22 (UPI) --

 

A Florida woman accused of stabbing her boyfriend

when his dog ate her marijuana told police the man

repeatedly walked into her knife.

 

The Broward Sheriff's Office said

 

Shadae Scott, 26,

allegedly attacked boyfriend Kevin Wiggins with a knife Sunday

at her Dania Beach apartment because his dog had eaten her supply

of marijuana,

 

the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Tuesday.

 

Wiggins suffered small knife cuts to his face and head.

He had one large gash across his hand, deputies said.

The arrest report said Scott told deputies Wiggins had walked

into her knife repeatedly during their argument.

Scott was arrested on a domestic battery charge

and jailed in lieu of $2,500 bond.