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Tanked Episode 271 for Tues. Oct. 8, 2013



- Beer/Mixed Drinks

- Weekend Catchup

- Aaron hits up the Tap Room at 7 Monks

- Beer and more beer

- Ric is all alone Michelle is in New York. Time to get yo drank on!



It’s a gutsy situation.


Last month, Barbara Cordell, dean of nursing at Panola College and Dr. Justin McCarthy, a gastroenterologist, published a paper in the International Journal of Clinical Medicine, detailing a bizarre case. A 61-year-old Texas man visited an emergency room, clearly intoxicated. A Breathalyzer test clocked him in at a blood alcohol concentration of 0.37 percent, enough to kill a person. He brewed his own beer at home, so it was no surprise to the attending staff that he’d overindulged. However, the man was adamant that he’d had nothing to drink. Doctors and the man’s wife figured he was sneaking off to guzzle liquor on the sly. But the case intrigued Dr. McCarthy, and he sequestered the patient in a room with no access to alcohol. Bizarrely enough, he continued to get drunker after only eating solid food.


After a while, they learned that the man’s digestive system was crawling with Saccharomyces cerevisiae—brewer’s yeast. Whenever he ate something starchy, such as a bagel, a simple chemical reaction occurred in his belly. The yeast devoured the sugars, leaving ethanol as a waste product and rendering the man instantly drunk, brewing a strong beer right inside his belly. It is normal for the human body to produce tiny amounts of alcohol called “endogenous ethanol” through various processes, but the concentration is so insignificant, you’d never notice it. However, the man in question had a blood alcohol level nearly five times the legal limit for driving a car.


Auto-brewery syndrome was not unknown, but it had only previously been described in Japan, where it is called “meitei-sho.” Again, it was a startlingly rare, but about half of people of East Asian descent possess a mutation in their liver enzymes which does not allow them to properly process alcohol, likely promoting the condition. Other contributing factors are thought to be the heavy consumption of carb-rich food like rice, gastrointestinal surgery, and taking antibiotics, which can wipe out the bacteria in the stomach and make room for infestations of yeast.

While free beer seems like the best side effect to the coolest medical condition of all time, there are several scary factors at play. Had the man been just slightly drunker, he likely would have succumbed to alcohol poisoning. And he could have easily been involved in an accident after doing something no more innocuous than eating breakfast. The man was treated with antifungal medication and a low-carbohydrate diet, and his symptoms thankfully cleared up.


Raise Your Glass For The Michigan Pint Bill, Which Would Outlaw Beer Pints Fewer Than 16 Ounces                                    

The federal government might still be in shutdown mode,

but state legislators in Michigan won't let Congress'

inactivity stop them from pursuing legislation that's

critical to the safety and welfare of its residents.

Namely, a gem we've dubbed the "Michigan Pint Bill,"

mandating that every pint of beer sold in the state MUST

contain at least 16 ounces of actual beer in the glass.

It would modify the existing Liquor Control Act to make

sure every thirsty patron actually gets the pint he or she is promised.

The bill was introduced into the state House by Rep. David Knezek

(D-Dearborn Heights) the youngest member of the

House Democratic Caucus and the first Iraq War veteran

to serve in the state Legislature, and five other Dems.

While these legislators try to establish the right for every

Michigan resident to receive a healthy pint pour,

the amendment itself is a little light in specifics:


The legislation reads:

"Sec. 106: An on-premises licensee shall not advertise or sell

any glass of beer as a pint in this state unless that glass

contains at least 16 oz. of beer."


But don't all Americans believe in life, liberty,

and perfect 16 ounce pint? It seems that some bars in Michigan use

"pint" as a descriptive term for the shape of the glass,

rather than the volume of the pour.

The Detroit Free Press reported that some bar owners

who serve their ales in 14 ounce pint glasses

might be shopping for new glassware if the change to the

Liquor Control Act is signed into law.


John Holl, editor of All About Beer magazine in

Durham, N.C., told the Free Press he thinks

the Michigan pint bill is "a good step forward."

He also said bars in Michigan have another alternative

to replacing their undersized glassware -- stop calling them pints.

We'll raise our glasses to that!



Sandra/George win

Gravity wins with $55M I didn’t see it. I talked with a co-worker who had seen it 3 times before it was even released. He went to every screener here in Dallas. Says it’s amazing!


2007 Justice League script is online


2007, pre-production began on a ‘Justice League‘ movie that would’ve cast D.J. Cotrona (You don’t know him) as Superman, rapper Common as Green Lantern and Armie Hammer as Batman, with Christopher Nolan’s ‘Dark Knight’ trilogy never happening.


The film never happened, for various reasons, but now if you’re curious what a ‘Justice League’ movie could’ve looked like, you can read the script for the movie right now. You will have a newfound appreciation of ‘Avengers,’ the ‘Dark Knight’ and ‘Man of Steel‘ after reading this.


This script is not very good. It’s not entirely surprising given it was written during the writers strike that resulted in some seriously crapped movies (see: ‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen’), but, to be fair, this was also back in 2006 when ‘X-Men: The Last Stand’ was one of the biggest movies of the year and ‘Iron Man’ was still two years off. The superhero movie landscape has changed a lot since then.


Directed by George Miller (‘Mad Max’), the film would’ve starred Armie Hammer as Batman, Megan Gale as Wonder Woman, D.J. Cotrona as Superman, Adam Brody as The Flash/Wally West, Hugh Keays-Byrne as Martian Manhunter, Teresa Palmer as Talia Al Ghul, Zoe Kazan as Iris Allen, Santiago Cabrera as Aquaman, Jay Baruchel as Maxwell Lord and Common as Green Lantern.


If you want to read the ‘Justice League’ script for yourself, you can download it here and then be glad that Warner Bros. is taking their time with the reincarnated ‘Justice League’ movie to make sure they get it right this time.


Kick Ass is Quicksilver

Aaron Johnson has officially signed to play Quicksilver in Joss Wedon’s Avengers Age of Ultron.


No real shock here known about this rumor for a while and I think everyone knew it was going to be true. Now it is. Kick ass will run fast!


Hoe lol!


Follow Ric on


Ric’s YouTube page



Submitted by Sir Mad Billy of California

Florida Man, 51, Arrested For Chicken Wing Assault On Wife


Meet Patrick Arthur.

The Florida man, 51, was arrested last night for battering his wife with a bowl of chicken wings.

Cops were summoned to the Myakka City home Arthur shares with his wife Darlene. The couple, who have been married three years, had been fighting, Darlene’s daughter told a 911 operator.

After a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputy arrived at the Wingate Road residence, Patrick--who appeared to be enjoying a glass of wine--explained that he was “tired of the marriage and all the fighting so he tried to leave only to be stopped by Darlene.”

When Darlene “wouldn’t leave him alone,” Patrick “got mad and threw a bowl of chicken wings at her,” an investigator noted. While the wings “struck her in the upper body,” Darlene told cops that she did not want to press charges and have her spouse jailed.

Despite that request, Patrick (seen at left) was arrested for misdemeanor battery and booked into the county lockup, where bond has yet to be set. He is scheduled for an October 10 court appearance.




Sir Mad Billy is now a Baron (Baron Mad Billy)


Hobbit by a thug







We will be putting the Florida Awards list together THIS WEEK for next weeks show.

Extreme Kidnapping

If you've got a couple hundred bucks to burn and a masochistic streak, then maybe it's time to check out a Detroit business that promises to give the thrill of a real-life abduction.

That's right, in a city with more than its fair share of true crime, the founder of Extreme Kidnapping is looking for customers to pay him to be kidnapped.

"This service caters to the extreme sports adventurer who is bored with what's currently available; this takes it to a whole other level," says entrepreneur Adam Thick aka in the rap world as Mr. Scrillion. "If you don't feel like you're really being kidnapped and your life is in danger, then we're not doing our job."

Extreme Kidnapping had a low profile for years until a GQ writer signed on to get shanghaied and merrily recalled his night in captivity.

For $1,500 Drew Magary was handcuffed, duct taped, soaked, slapped and zapped with a stun gun (and more) by Thick, a convicted counterfeiter and his henchmen.

There are more economic experiences available that might appeal to shoppers who are cautious about passing a night in a dingy basement. Thick customizes each abduction and unlike an old-fashioned kidnapping, an Extreme Therapy hostage has the ability to call off the goons and abort the torture at any moment by uttering a preselected safe word.

As a memento, all customers get a video of willingly being held against their will.


The Michael Douglass film "The Game" provided the idea for Extreme Kidnapping.

The company's motto might as well be, "It should be against the law to have this much fun."





Man Gets Penis Stuck In Toaster, Firefighters Carry Out Hard Rescue                                    

In his defense, that toaster gives good bread.

An unidentified London man is nursing his knob

after firefighters had to extract his penis from a toaster.

It's unclear how the gentleman got it in there,

but London's bravest were there to butter his bread,

The Mirror reports.


Jokes aside, London appears to have a penis problem.

MSN reports that firefighters in the area have dealt with

too many lodged members over the past three years.

"I don't know whether it's the 'Fifty Shades' effect,

but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems

to have gone up," London firefighter Dave Brown said.

Firefighters didn't say when the incident occurred,

but they released the story in an attempt to stop people from

having sex with their appliances --

or getting into other kinds of embarrassing trouble

that diverts resources from emergency services.


According to The Mirror, crews have responded to:


In the last three years the capital’s fire crews have been called out to:

  • 18 incidents involving children with their heads stuck in potties or toilet seats.

  • Five incidents involving people’s hands being stuck in shredders.


  • 79 incidents involving people being trapped in handcuffs.

  • Nine instances of men with rings stuck on their penises.

  • Four incidents where people had their hands stuck in blenders.

  • 17 incidents involving children with their fingers stuck in toys, including one with Lego stuck on his finger.


There have been

1,300 calls since 2010 to London crews reporting that something is "trapped or stuck."

Brave Deli Owner Uses Machete To Thwart Gunman After Dodging Bullet


Welcome to the Samurai Deli.


Police on Long Island released surveillance video Monday

of a machete-wielding store clerk chasing off an

armed robbery suspect.

Security footage shows the gunman enter the convenience

store and aim a .22 caliber handgun at the unidentified

store clerk, according to the Associated Press.

The clerk -- ready for the moment --

whips out a machete from under the register

and threatens the gunman.

Police said the gunman fired one bullet into the wall,

according to CBS.

The video ends with the store clerk hot on the robber's tail

as he scurries across the parking lot.

The Sept. 25 incident happened at a convenience

store in Brentwood, N.Y.

The clerk got very lucky. We would recommend in a situation

like this to comply with the person’s demands.

The clerk, in this case, got extremely lucky,”

Suffolk County Detective Lt. Kevin Beyrer told the New York Post.



Chris Hiller Leaves a message, I think he was just testing the VM# to see if it still worked.

Black Knight Sir JFT snapped an awesome pic of the Jenna Jameson’s Shadow Hunter