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Friday
Aug232013

Tanked Episode 264 for Wed Aug. 21, 2013

 ANNOUNCEMENTS 

 

- Beer/Mixed Drinks

- Weekend Catchup

- scott did nascar right. he got drunk.



BoOzE NEWS

Fuck Gatorade, Give me Beer!

   

(SYDNEY) -- Good news for beer lovers: Australian scientists have developed a hydrating beer.

 

According to the Sydney Morning Herald, researchers at Griffith University's health institute modified two commercial beers, one regular and one light beer, and tracked their hydrating effects.

 

The scientists added electrolytes and reduced alcohol content, then gave the beer to people who had just exercised to review the consumers' fluid recovery rates.

 

Their research showed that the light beer was the most hydrating.

The scientists say the taste of the brews were not impacted.

 

According to the Sydney Morning Herald, this research could lead to the development of hydrating alcoholic drinks that decrease the chances of a hangover.



*what are electrolytes?

Electrolytes are important because they are what your cells (especially nerve, heart, muscle) use to maintain voltages across their cell membranes and to carry electrical impulses (nerve impulses, muscle contractions) across themselves and to other cells. Your kidneys work to keep the electrolyte concentrations in your blood constant despite changes in your body. For example, when you exercise heavily, you lose electrolytes in your sweat, particularly sodium and potassium. These electrolytes must be replaced to keep the electrolyte concentrations of your body fluids constant. So, many sports drinks have sodium chloride or potassium chloride added to them. They also have sugar and flavorings to provide your body with extra energy and to make the drink taste better.

WTMA




 VIDEO GAMES 

 

 

Mike Tyson Plays Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out For the First Time


 

He’s only 27 years late to the game — but Mike Tyson has finally played Nintendo’s Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out just recently.

That’s right, Mike Tyson has never played the classic Nintendo boxing game that bears HIS OWN NAME since it was released in 1987. Granted, he was very busy in the 80′s and 90′s winning belts, being convicted of rape and munching on ears.

So Fox Sports brought out the system and sat Mike Tyson down to play the game…and it was, well listen for yourself YouTube

Video Game sounds YouTube

 

Just a quick mention...

Playstation 4 is coming! Playstation 4 is coming! When? November 15th to North America. How much? The previously announced $400 price tag. Only 87 days to go, baby. Are we excited? Yesssss.

Today at Sony's Playstation Gamescom press conference, the company finally spilled the details about when we'd finally get our mitts on the hot console. Mind you, we've been waiting for this information since PS4 was first announced all the way back in February. Besides the North American dates, Sony also announced that the console would be available in Europe on November 29th. The console will hit 32 countries by the holiday season. That's an impressive roll out. Can the Xbox One keep pace?




 MOVIES 

 

Kick Ass 2 gets it’s ass kicked at the box office.

The Butler wins the top spot with $24M Kick Ass finished in a very disappointing 4th place pulling in only $13.5M. Elysum took 3rd with $13.5M for a 2 week total of only $56M. Looks like it will lose money at the box office since it’s budget of $115M has only been ½ made back.

 

Spoiler free kick ass reviews:

 

Kick Ass 2’s bad showing will make it really hard for Matthew Vaugh and crew to make another Kick Ass.

 

Jobs Movie review:

 

We should talk about KickAss 2 after the show in a spoiler zone. Pretty sure we all saw it.

 

Avengers: Age of Ultron' Rumor: Elizabeth Olsen Wanted for Scarlet Witch

Younger sister of the Olsen Twins (this sister can act). She is putting herself into position for more then one film if she accepts the roll and will likely be Opposite Kick Ass himself Aaron Johnson who is rumored to be playing Quicksilver.



Any Ideas Ric?

                                                      

JJ Abrams’ Bad Robot Release A New Trailer, But They’re Not Saying What It’s Actually For

 

BleedingCool




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 WEB GEM 

 

Flowers HATE YOU!

YouTube

 

New butt wipes that just might beat out one wipe charlies.

The Shittens take the butt wipes to a whole new level.  You get all the benefits of a wet wipe, but also total protection against poop to hand contamination

YouTube

GetShittens.com



 

 

 ODD NEWS 

 

“New Shit Has Come To Light”

Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop Arrested Again on Drug Charges

 

Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop has been arrested again on drug charges, only a year after his last run-in with the law.

Man Named Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop May Have Drug Problem

A gentleman named Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop has been arrested in Madison, Wisconsin for — shocker — possession of drug paraphernalia. Read…

Zopittybop-bop-bop was arrested July 20 in Washington County, Iowa on charges of felony possession of a controlled substance with intent to deliver. Zopittybop-bop-bop, you may recall, was arrested last year in Madison, Wisconsin, and quickly gained some attention for his new legal name, which was changed in 2011. His given (or earthly) name is Jeffrey D. Wilschke. However, his celestial name (Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop) is much, much better.

Here is how Zopittybop-bop-bop (who struggles with both mental health and substance abuse issues, as do a lot of people), explained his fantastic name to the Wisconsin State-Journal:

Beezow explained that his first name represents “the explosion of awareness of the interconnectedness of the infinite love in the universe.” Doo-doo “is the struggle of our daily lives with that awareness, that with love comes chaos,” and Zopittybop-bop-bop “is the outcome of that struggle, which is often ironic, especially because all life ends in death.”

Makes some pretty great sense to me. Beezow, unfortunately, now faces up to five years in prison.

Free Zopittybop-bop-bop.

 

Samurai-sword wielding man was angry about shrimp

 

DELTONA, Fla., Aug. 21 (UPI) --

Police in Florida said a man who brandished

a samurai sword and allegedly attacked his mother's

boyfriend was angry about a missing can of shrimp.

The Volusia County Sheriff's Office said

Jayson Laughman, 34, of Deltona, told deputies he

"went into code red and lost his temper" when his

mother's boyfriend, Michael Airhart, 52, accused him of

taking a can of shrimp,

 

the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Wednesday.

 

Deputies said Laughman, who told investigators he

could not remember the entire incident due to his rage,

and Michael Airhart, 52, engaged in a "heated verbal argument"

and went outside to "engage in a physical fight."

 

Laughman allegedly threatened Airhart with a statue,

but no physical confrontation ensued and Airhart

went back inside the home.

 

Airhart returned to his room with Laughman's mother

and a few minutes later Laughman started breaking through

the bedroom door with a metal samurai sword, police said.

 

Laughman threatened Airhart with the sword,

but left the room after the couple talked to him for a few minutes,

deputies said. He allegedly soon returned to the room and

threw two kitchen knives at Airhart.

 

Airhart dodged the knives and left through a sliding glass window.

Laughman was arrested on a charge of

aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

He was taken to Florida Fish Memorial Hospital after

complaining of chest pains.




'Ghostbuster' arrested for conducting exorcism with penis


 

A self-proclaimed “ghostbuster”

was arrested in Guangzhou, Guangdong Province

after he charged a young woman 20,000 yuan ($3,279)

to exorcise the ghosts in her vagina with his penis.

 

Police arrested Huang Jianjun on August 1 after the woman,

A Xin, called police one day after having sex with Huang,

reported the Southern Metropolis Daily.

A Xin, a spice shop employee, consulted Huang

after hearing he could advise her how to attract her boss,

whom she had a crush on.

 

The two agreed to meet at a hotel room,

where Huang asked her to strip naked and lay

on the bed for an examination.

Huang then convinced A Xin to have intercourse

after explaining that ghosts in her vagina are preventing

her boss from falling in love with her -

ghosts he could only catch with his penis.

Huang explained that he had sacrificed his virginity for the exorcism.

Huang later told authorities he had long lost the ability

to have an erection due to diabetes.

GlobalTimes.cn



Chinese zoo tries passing off dog as an 'African lion'

 

The People’s Park of Luohe in the Chinese province Henan

has an amazing “African lion” on exhibit for spectators.

But the most amazing fact about this proud creature is

that it’s actually a dog, not a lion.

 

As Agence France-Presse reports,

the hoax was exposed when the dog,

a Tibetan mastiff, started barking.

 

According to the state-run publication Beijing Youth Daily

 

, a mother and son heard the unexpected sound

coming from the alleged lion during a recent visit to the zoo.

 

The paper says the zoo has been replacing exotic species

with substitutes, including placing two rodents in a snake’s cage,

a white fox in a leopard’s den and a common dog in a wolf’s pen.

 

“The zoo is absolutely cheating us,” the visitor, Sharon Liu,

told the paper. “They are trying to disguise the dogs as lions.”

 

Liu and other zoo visitors reportedly paid 15 yuan ($2.45)

for the chance to see the dog and other substitute animals up close.

And this is far from the only case of animal impersonation in China.

There have also been recent reports of Chinese

zoo officials painting dogs black and white to make them look like pandas.

 

Liu Suya, chief of the zoo’s animal department,

told the paper that the actual lion has been temporarily

sent to a breeding facility.

"The wolf is somewhere else in the pen and the dog is a pet,”

another zoo official told the Oriental Daily.

“The African lions will be back. They went to another zoo to breed."

The zoo’s head also told the paper that the signs outside

the African lion cage would be changed until the actual lion returns.